scariest feeling

I feel that I need to share an experience I had today.  I am not one to share with the world the things in my life that I am going through.  Physically or mentally.  Most of my family knows certain struggles in my life and some close friends.  Still there are other things that only Michael knows or will ever know.  But what happened today really strengthened my testimony and made me feel so important in Heavenly Father's plan and I just felt an impression to write about it before I forget. 

Over the last 9 months or so I have had a few different health issues come up.  Not to mention my never-ending struggle to lose weight.  A horrible cough was one of the issues but after many visits to the doctor and trying about 4 different solutions finally it has gone away.  In early August I noticed that it had pretty much gone away and I was so happy about it that I called the doctor's office so my doctor could know.  Well very soon after that on a Sunday afternoon I was awoken from a nap not being able to breathe.  I literally felt like I was breathing my only source of air through one of those coffee straws.  I was alone in my room with the door shut and I was scared to death.  I was panicking and felt like I was going to stop breathing.  Apparently I was really loud because Michael came running in.  He helped me to calm down and after about 30 seconds to 1 minute I was able to breath a ton better.  It was really upsetting and it took a while to calm down.  I remember thinking that I needed to call the doctor.  And I was also confused because I assumed that the "episode" was related to the cough and my cough had pretty much gone away.  Well of course time passed and I finally remembered to call about two weeks after.  They said that I should come in but I didn't make an appointment.  I was feeling fine.  I remember before Mikey was born I had a couple similar episodes but nothing as serious.  But again I thought I was fine.  Well last night Michael and I went to bed really late.  We shouldn't have stayed up so late but we did.  After about five minutes laying down I could feel myself falling asleep when suddenly I couldn't breathe again.  It was terrifying.  It started worse than the last time.  I was panicking more than last time because I couldn't get air fast enough into my lungs.  All these thoughts came into my mind about my husband and children.  I was so scared.  More scared then I had ever been in my life.  I was quite the wreck and Michael was trying to hold me still and calm me down.  He said to me "Say a prayer Lindsey, say a prayer."  So I said the quickest prayer I could to myself and about five more seconds of being unable to breathe it stopped completely.  Of course I was completely shaken up and I felt very weak.  Luckily I was able to fall back asleep about a half hour later.  I went into the doctor today because I wasn't about to make the same mistake I did last time.  The diagnosis is still in the works so when that comes I'll let you know. 

But today Michael and my dad gave me a blessing.  It was very comforting and I felt so much love from my Heavenly Father.  After that I remember when Michael told me to "say a prayer" and when I did my breathing changed completely.  I had a sudden realization of how important I was to Heavenly Father.  That he needed me to be here and that he answers prayers.  Nothing like that has happened to me before.  I felt his love so close and I felt my love for Him and my loved ones around me increase.  It was very scary and I'm a little nervous to fall asleep tonight but I feel that my life is in His hands.  Especially when I do my part in His plan.  I'm grateful for a mindful Father in Heaven.  I'm also very grateful for a loving, worthy husband who I love with all of my heart.  And today I feel so blessed for the things I have in my life.